Sunday, July 09, 2006
I've ever told myself to stop staying online till late because they eventually lead me to endless tossing and turning and eventually lack of sleep. When that happens, Delia would be a violent volcano.
MSN Messnger has been a very useful tool in allowing instant communication with many people at one time. I enjoy using it very much but it hasn't been friendly to me for as long as I have used it. Why? Because it is through this programme where I have received many unfortunate news and will receive even more in time to come. The most heartbreaking one I remember
fondly is when I was told that both of you went away without informing me for fear of hurting me. Well, I wonder what hurt even more. The fact that you left or the fact that you didn't have the guts to tell me personally. And today, I found out that all those suspicions everyone has been having is confirmed. All of a sudden I feel so hardened towards all these breaking news. It's part of growing up. It occured to me that whenever I make a decision that would cause others to be upset, they would hear of them from others too and won't they go through the same as I am right now? Like why I didn't bring myself to tell them personally etc.? And why I never considered how they would feel?
Because we're selfish and at the point of making a decision, we would choose the path that would make us feel good and happy, ignoring the effects it might have on others and ourselves in the long run.
Like how I was just being so cant-be-bothered with Siewling just now. Sorry. I hope you would understand that I'm not exactly in the mood to talk much. Especially when I'm only at the 600+ word count mark for the stupid written report. Will make it up to you on Thursday. I will be cheerful and smiley.
12:36 AM
